How much you want to bet this is the video Prince Harry watches before missions?

22 Jan

Dude admitted he smoked a shit ton of Taliban. Totally down with that. Just admit you watch this and high five other British dudes before missions. That’s all I’m asking, because if you’re a helicopter pilot, nay, gunner, you have to be watching this video pre-flight. I know I would

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What would you rather? Date a chick obsessed with a decent/old show or a current shitty one?

22 Jan

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Okay, was talking to a buddy tonight who’s female friend loves Cougar Town. It’s weird because she’s mid-20’s too, but whatever, in any case, said chick DVR’s it, must see it every week, etc. etc. and he is forced to watch it. Hell, he’s had to go through of the drama of it going from ABC or NBC to TBS, just when he thought he was done with it, it returned to plague his sex life. Pretty tough stuff. However, my point was, well at least it’s new ya know? But he told me he’d rather go through watching a shitty show like “Friends” or “Sex in the City” than deal with this new one, which kind of miffed me and made me think. Sidenote, I hate Friends. Never liked it. Cheap, cheap, cheap laughs.

Here’s pro’s of watching the new show: odds are, there’s only so many episodes available. You’re not gonna catch it every day, it’s on that one night a week, it’s on demand, limited amount of exposure. Like going to church with your family when you’re home (unless you come from a den of heathens), sure it sucks for an hour to do the whole song and dance, but it’s one hour hopefully and then you’re done. Boom. Nothing for another week.

The cons? If your chick is obsessed with a shitty show….and I mean shitty in that, not that it’s a chick show (a la Girls on HBO) and is popular amongst girls, I mean your chick is the only one you know or anyone knows that appreciates the show. Usually it’s in its first season or struggling through a second, moved timeslots or networks, and you know this chick is going to try and fit that she watches this show into any conversation. She’s going to try and convert whenever she has the opportunity, completely fetch. Very socially awkward, not gonna happen.

However, let’s look at the cons of a decent old one. You know how many times I stop scrolling through the guide channel when I see Seinfeld or Eastbound and Down? Everytime. Now imagine that with Sex in the City or something else feminine. That can be pretty brutal, but then again chicks don’t watch as much tv as dudes and odds are you aren’t gonna know when these shows are randomly gonna be on in syndication. So you’re look at some random viewings if you have to watch tv together and I’m not gonna lie, sometimes these shows can be dece and have some hot chicks in it. True Blood is kind of a chick show and I get down with that big time. No homo.

My opinion, if she likes a shitty new show, there’s probably a reason why and if you can’t figure out why she likes it, she probably has horrible taste. It happens. Hell, I wanted Glory Daze on TBS to be funny so bad but it got cancelled after like 6 episodes. Shit happens, you try and support the underdog. They should have boozed, drugged, sexed up that show and put it on Showtime or Starz and could have been unreal, but again shit happens.

So in the end, deal with the shitty show for a couple months or get used to reruns. Personally, I say bite the bullet and take the new one, if it really sucks it’ll be gone soon enough. And if it’s good? You can tell her you’ve both already seen the episode before.

Now put it on Sportscenter and shut up.

Is this Stephen Dorff’s most convincing role ever?

22 Jan

Stephen Dorff and Blu eCigs

 

I’ve never done an ad or campaign like this, which is why I’m so excited to work with blu eCigs. The idea was inspired by an advertisement I originally made on my own because I personally use blu eCigs® electronic cigarettes. Thankfully, blu wanted to partner with me after seeing the ad I made and embraced my vision as a smoker. We teamed up to do something groundbreaking and give you my story as a smoker.

I love the Rise from the Ashes Campaign, it says it all. What else do I love about blu? blu eCigs are available in stores nationwide. I’ve made the switch, will you? Come on guys, Rise From the Ashes.

Talk about going out and finding the perfect thing for you, Blu didn’t even know that Dorff wanted this role. He made it then came to them with it and now we are all the more better off for this. This is exactly the type of dude if I was smoking to tell me to stop smoking. Coiffed hair, only the beach, cool/green friendly alternative, and I wouldn’t need to be a hipster asshole and roll my tobacco or smoke those American Spirits like some goddamn Sports Illustrated cut out advertisement.

Truthfully speaking, this could also be Stephen Dorff’s best role ever? Can you name anything else this dude has been in? I sure can’t. But you know what? That’s not the point. The point is he fucking did it in LA and now he’s not smoking anymore and he’s on a beach with fucking money hair cut with just the right amount of scruff. Second best performance ever, though? Deuces Wild, without question.

 

Carrie Underwood mad at media for calling husband “Mr. Underwood,” FYI he doesn’t care.

19 Jan

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Us Weekly –  Carrie Underwood sees Mike Fisher as her equal, not her subordinate. So when the media refers to her hockey player husband as “Mr. Underwood,” the singer is understandably upset.

“It made me feel awful,” the country music superstar, 29, says in the February issue of Allure. “Somebody works real hard to make a name for themselves, a respectable name, and then it’s ‘Mr. Underwood.'”

Canadian-born Fisher, 32, was called “Mr. Underwood” many times when he was traded from the Ottawa Senators to the Nashville Predators in February 2011, according to the “Blown Away” singer.

“He was drafted there, and that was the only team he had ever played for [in the United States]. He would have played and he wanted to play for Ottawa for his whole career. He had no say in any of it,” Underwood says in her husband’s defense. “[But] I love it that he’s here.”

Underwood is in it for the long haul with Fisher, despite what doubters say. “We’ve seen a lot of celebrities, professional athletes, not exactly always being on their best behavior away from girlfriends, wives, families,” she says. “People would say, ‘Do you ever worry that? You know, he’s an athlete, he’s young, he’s good-looking?’ And I’ve never had to worry about him, because I’ve never trusted anybody so completely. Or I didn’t know the true meaning of trust. He just. . . He just wouldn’t do that.”

Though the “Before He Cheats” chart topper has often sung about heartbreak, the athlete makes her feel more loved than ever. “We want that person to be everything we’ve always wanted,” Underwood tells Allure of her music. “If they’re not Prince Charming, we try to make them Prince Charming. But Prince Charming does exist! I found one.”


True Canuck here, just taking it in stride, letting it roll off his shoulder and not care. America’s hat right there for ya. Just hanging out, playing it cool. Personally I wouldn’t care if the media called me “random guy who Carrie Underwood will cheat on and dump” if I was legitimately with Carrie Underwood. What’s really going on here is another typical southerner thinking that their little world below the Mason-Dixon line is way bigger than they think it is. Several points:

  1. Although they don’t mention these media people by name, I can say with 100% certainty these are people who work for CMT, country radio stations/insiders or southern newspapers. We all know these are the only true people who care about country music besides that one friend we all have.
  2. Canada refers to him as a hockey player or “The guy who is fucking Carrie Underwood.”
  3. Mainstream American media refers to him as “The guy who is fucking Carrie Underwood.”
  4. The dude plays in Nashville, where that ranks behind 3 college basketball teams, Vol football, Titans football, Lady Vol basketball and Grizzly basketball. Dude might as well be Joe Schmo for Christ’s sake. Of course he’s gonna be called Mr. Underwood in the middle of country music’s Cooperstown.
  5. Anybody taking the time to call him Mr. Underwood is not giving him daps (like most dudes), is not a young hot chick (they probably want his balls already and know his name), so that leaves bitter dudes/women with nothing better to care about than some dude not from the south taking one of their tribe. Keyword tribe.

I’ve been to the South, I’ve studied their ways. In some respects, I think they are almost as racist towards “Yankees” than they are “colored folks.” I know my plight; not expecting reparations anytime soon. If it’s one thing those cousin fuckers hate, it’s letting one get away. Especially a peach of a prize like Carrie. Even worse if it’s a “goddamn, peace loving Canadian who plays on goddamn ice skates, prolly can’t play a real sport like (SEC) FOOOTBALL!”

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Girl from Field of Dreams grows up to look exactly as you expected

19 Jan

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Live every day like it’s you’re last, cuz who knows, you might be peaking at age 7.

Sidenote, she’s appearing in some movie nude soon I guess. Remind me to be doing anything but watching TV during that time.

Kobe declares himself best of all time….at one on one, recipient of BET’s Hottest Prom Date award ’96.

19 Jan

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Yahoo! Sports – Opinions on Kobe change, of course, and it’s not as if he’s the exact same player or personality every season. But this commercial nevertheless nails the Kobe experience very, very well. He really is an essential part of the sports landscape, a defining figure in NBA history.

As if to hammer home his unique importance, Bryant also happened to give an instant-classic interview with Chris Palmer for ESPN.com. The conversation touches on many aspects of Kobe’s life, including his belief that he’s the greatest one-on-one player ever, his similarities to the common man, and his lifelong crusade against dog poop.

In the question and answer session, Bryant went out of his way to tell Palmer that, nearly 17 full years into his professional career, that he’s never come out on the losing end of a one-on-one game. Accept that with however many grains of salt you typically prefer with Bryant, but that’s his quote. From the interview:

I love going one-on-one with someone. That’s what I do. I’ve never lost. It’s a whole different game, just to have them right in front of you and be able to do whatever you want.

Check out some other highlights after the jump.

As noted in the preceding paragraph, the biggest basketball-only revelation in this interview is that Kobe gives some details of his one-on-one prowess, as well as past victories (via TBJ):

Who would you most like to play one-on-one, either active or retired?

Jordan. No question.

What would happen?

I’m not sure, but he would win some and I would win some in a seven-game series. It would probably come down to the last few shots.

You versus LeBron? Who wins?

Me. No question. As far as one-on-one, I’m the best to ever do it.

God bless Kobe. Great to see that you’re taking this Lakers downturn as a franchise really well. I think Kobe’s got a pretty good case, but unfortunately he wasn’t always the best player on his team (Shaq) when they won which is only going to plague him. He’s HOF for sure and I hope his entry speech is as egotistical as this interview and entertaining as MJ’s, but nobody is going to go around going, “Kobe was the best at 1 on 1 all time.” You dominated an NBA transition period, plain and simple. Russell vs. Wilt, Bird vs. Magic, LeBron vs. Durant. Kobe vs. T-Mac, yeah okay bro. Sidenote, is Kobe’s wife secretly a Kardashian? Legitimate question:

Kobe-Bryant-Wife

 

Kobe Bryant: Meaningless titles, Kardashian knock off collector, Aspen masseuse enthusiast. Invited Brandy to Prom. Quite the LinkedIn profile.

Wranglers releases jeans for chicks self conscious about their muffin tops/fat ass

18 Jan

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Yahoo! News – It seems like you can’t open a women’s magazine in this country without having some skincare expert tell you how important it is to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Now a new line of jeans from Wrangler claim to be the end to all your skincare woesOn January 28, through popular British e-tailer ASOS, Wrangler will release a special line called “Spa Denim” with built-in moisturizing properties and one pair with an anti-cellulite treatment. We’re just not so sure that these “cure-all” jeans are any different from other quick-results products like shape up shoes, or the hundred-dollar cellulite creams that we shamelessly keep buying and are constantly disappointed by. How much money have you spent on creams that never work? The brand will offer three varying styles in differing waist cuts of low, medium and regular. The Aloe Vera style claims to soothe sensitive skin, with a cooling sensation. The Olive Extract style is a straightforward moisturizing treatment. 

The third style is undoubtedly the most controversial. Called the Smooth Legs style, these claim to reduce the appearance of cellulite. “Infused with algae extracts, retinol and caffeine, the style was clinically tested by the Institut Adriant in France, where after four weeks of wearing the jeans for eight hours a day, five days a week over six weeks, 69 per cent of the panel claimed that the appearance of their thighs had improved,” according to an article in the UK’s TelegraphBut the facts of this study aren’t clear. Was there a control group? Who would wear the same pair of jeans every single day? We consulted a few experts to see whether these anti-cellulite jeans are really worth their salt. “It’s impossible to for an anti-cellulite product to work through jeans. The doses needed can never be delivered this way,” Dr. Esra Ogru told Yahoo! Shine. “As a skin expert and a molecular biologist there is no data or science to support these types of products. They purely rely on marketing without any credibility.”Other experts, however, attribute any improvement to the tight material. “Any squeezing of cellulite as from tight clothing, wraps, deep massage all can temporarily improve the appearance of cellulite by pushing the fat back in the small pockets of connective tissue,” Dr. Jeffrey Benabio, Physician Director at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, told Shine. “Any results are likely to be temporary though, and purchasing these jeans just for the cellulite benefit might not be worth the money.” 

“In general, cellulite treatments have been disappointing,” Dr. Amy Derick, an instructor of clinical dermatology at Northwestern University, told Shine. “The details of this study are unclear, and it might simply be an effect of wearing tight jeans.” In other words, it seems like slathering on an anti-cellulite cream and then wearing tight pants might result in the same temporary fix. According to Wrangler, the treatment lasts up to 67-95 wears, but that means you can’t wash these puppies. Dirty jeans might be a deal breaker for some, though you can purchase refill sprays to refresh the treatment on the inside of the jeans if you are so inclined. It’s every woman for herself when it comes to these miracle treatments. It might be a good idea to do a price comparison between whatever moisturizer or anti-cellulite cream you use and these jeans, which retail for $136. Or you could just listen to doctors who say that cellulite is natural, and there’s no way of getting rid of it completely. 

Adding insult to injury, Mick Jagger’s daughter Lizzie is the spokesperson for the “Spa Denim” line, and swears it leaves her legs feeling “more silky than usual.” Frankly, we’re fairly certain she’s never needed a cellulite treatment in her life.

Ughhhhhhhh yet another product for women trying to fool themselves and men at the same time. Look, why not take those moisturizing jeans money and buy a gym membership and some vitamin supplements? Just a thought. And what’s with chicks just constantly buying shit to fool dudes? Spanx? Pushup bras? What’s with that? The minute a dude tapes cucumber to the inside of pelvis all of a sudden we’re the weirdos?

But yeah anyways, how fucking lazy are chicks that they can’t just get on the elliptical for 20 minutes a day? I seriously don’t get it. Dudes would have much more respect for ya if you hit the gym and got that as opposed to telling people about your “little secret” slimming jeans. For real, shows you got the cardio skills, can make ya sweat. All good stuff. But then again, I’m on a muscly chick kick lately. If you got a case of luna bars in the car, I can totally dig that.

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