I know I’m late to the party, but I’m so down with Kyle Richards

23 Jan

kyle-richards

 

Maybe even 20 years late to the party, but I don’t care: heat is heat, fire is fire, and in the words of Glenn Frey, “The Heat is On.”

Literally just sat down and watched an episode or two of this fiasco of a reality show and this chick is just money. Funny. Just the right amount of bitchy. Not a blonde idiot. Aunt to Paris Hilton. Part Danica Patrick/Part Lisa Ann. Right in my wheelhouse. Everything I’m looking for. I would bare knuckle brawl at least 8 HIV positive hobo’s in a back alley simultaneously to get a weekend at the beach with her. Just laugh, mess around, hit the beach, shit on people, drink, screw around, talk about our very small acting roles, be rich and shit. Literally exactly what I’m looking to do right now. I just have my fingers crossed she’s got a little Lisa Ann in her too besides her looks.

I don’t even care that her name is Kyle either. With a name like that, a niece named Paris, it pretty much I can name our kid anything I want. Oh yes, I plan on knocking this old bird up. At the very least getting to adopt a new baby and most likely use that as my catalyst for divorce  from her once she’s really fading into old age. Half her money, a kid with a cool name like Gannicus or Recondo, and semi E-list status cuz I was her 3rd husband. Check please. I got this.

Her highlight reel below should be backed up by Dreamweaver on repeat. Pants tent city.

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