Wranglers releases jeans for chicks self conscious about their muffin tops/fat ass

18 Jan

jessica-simpson-mom-jeans

Yahoo! News – It seems like you can’t open a women’s magazine in this country without having some skincare expert tell you how important it is to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Now a new line of jeans from Wrangler claim to be the end to all your skincare woesOn January 28, through popular British e-tailer ASOS, Wrangler will release a special line called “Spa Denim” with built-in moisturizing properties and one pair with an anti-cellulite treatment. We’re just not so sure that these “cure-all” jeans are any different from other quick-results products like shape up shoes, or the hundred-dollar cellulite creams that we shamelessly keep buying and are constantly disappointed by. How much money have you spent on creams that never work? The brand will offer three varying styles in differing waist cuts of low, medium and regular. The Aloe Vera style claims to soothe sensitive skin, with a cooling sensation. The Olive Extract style is a straightforward moisturizing treatment. 

The third style is undoubtedly the most controversial. Called the Smooth Legs style, these claim to reduce the appearance of cellulite. “Infused with algae extracts, retinol and caffeine, the style was clinically tested by the Institut Adriant in France, where after four weeks of wearing the jeans for eight hours a day, five days a week over six weeks, 69 per cent of the panel claimed that the appearance of their thighs had improved,” according to an article in the UK’s TelegraphBut the facts of this study aren’t clear. Was there a control group? Who would wear the same pair of jeans every single day? We consulted a few experts to see whether these anti-cellulite jeans are really worth their salt. “It’s impossible to for an anti-cellulite product to work through jeans. The doses needed can never be delivered this way,” Dr. Esra Ogru told Yahoo! Shine. “As a skin expert and a molecular biologist there is no data or science to support these types of products. They purely rely on marketing without any credibility.”Other experts, however, attribute any improvement to the tight material. “Any squeezing of cellulite as from tight clothing, wraps, deep massage all can temporarily improve the appearance of cellulite by pushing the fat back in the small pockets of connective tissue,” Dr. Jeffrey Benabio, Physician Director at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, told Shine. “Any results are likely to be temporary though, and purchasing these jeans just for the cellulite benefit might not be worth the money.” 

“In general, cellulite treatments have been disappointing,” Dr. Amy Derick, an instructor of clinical dermatology at Northwestern University, told Shine. “The details of this study are unclear, and it might simply be an effect of wearing tight jeans.” In other words, it seems like slathering on an anti-cellulite cream and then wearing tight pants might result in the same temporary fix. According to Wrangler, the treatment lasts up to 67-95 wears, but that means you can’t wash these puppies. Dirty jeans might be a deal breaker for some, though you can purchase refill sprays to refresh the treatment on the inside of the jeans if you are so inclined. It’s every woman for herself when it comes to these miracle treatments. It might be a good idea to do a price comparison between whatever moisturizer or anti-cellulite cream you use and these jeans, which retail for $136. Or you could just listen to doctors who say that cellulite is natural, and there’s no way of getting rid of it completely. 

Adding insult to injury, Mick Jagger’s daughter Lizzie is the spokesperson for the “Spa Denim” line, and swears it leaves her legs feeling “more silky than usual.” Frankly, we’re fairly certain she’s never needed a cellulite treatment in her life.

Ughhhhhhhh yet another product for women trying to fool themselves and men at the same time. Look, why not take those moisturizing jeans money and buy a gym membership and some vitamin supplements? Just a thought. And what’s with chicks just constantly buying shit to fool dudes? Spanx? Pushup bras? What’s with that? The minute a dude tapes cucumber to the inside of pelvis all of a sudden we’re the weirdos?

But yeah anyways, how fucking lazy are chicks that they can’t just get on the elliptical for 20 minutes a day? I seriously don’t get it. Dudes would have much more respect for ya if you hit the gym and got that as opposed to telling people about your “little secret” slimming jeans. For real, shows you got the cardio skills, can make ya sweat. All good stuff. But then again, I’m on a muscly chick kick lately. If you got a case of luna bars in the car, I can totally dig that.

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