Mark Wahlberg’s niche demographic is middle/low income men between the ages of 40 and 58

11 Jan



Mark Wahlberg’s newest film “Broken City” arrives next weekend in theaters and it’s dawned on me that there’s been a generational change for Dorchester’s favorite son. Back in the day it was strictly the young crowd and women who went in droves to see Marky Mark’s films but that’s all changed these days. Granted my first tip off to this was my dad calling me up and asking if I wanted to see it tonight. That was about 2 weeks ago, which of course I had to explain wasn’t out yet, but then it dawned on me, I wasn’t in a huge rush to see this, what’s with Dad? Then I started to think about it: simple plot lines (easier to understand for older folks), character is usually married with kids, a reason to get back vengeance from a boss/bourgeoisie figure who has wronged him, or threats to America. Makes perfect sense, Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum taking all the juicy, sexy roles, Mark’s gotta entertain all the old dudes who will hit the gym for the first time in many moons the morning after seeing this movie only to realize they are not Marky Mark. If that’s the case, here’s some ideas for the leader of the Funky Bunch and his new found target age group:

Inconsistencies” Mark Wahlberg plays a CPA for a large accounting firm. While crunching a corporation’s numbers for his boss (Philip Seymour Hoffman) he notices an irregularity which he tries to bring to his to light but is instead left as the patsy in a pyramid scheme by the multi-national conglomerate run by Powers Boothe. Mark Wahlberg takes matters into his own hands to get revenge and clear his name.

Home and Away” Mark Wahlberg plays a mailman whose wife (Debra Messing) recently won an all expenses paid trip to Spain. Because of this, he is forced to give up his game tickets to his beloved Steelers vs. the Ravens. While his wife is shopping, Wahlberg mistakes a Pakistani food joint for a Mexican place and accidentally uncovers a terrorist plot to blow up the NFL game in London the next week. Wahlberg convinces wife that they should stay an extra week in Europe, because he’s “coming around to it.” Wahlberg then scalps two tickets to the Browns vs. Cardinals game at Wembley stadium, and while working with a rogue CIA agent (Don Cheadle) he stops a crazed terrorist (Harry Belafonte) by taking matters into his own hands and is given the game ball by the Browns coach (John Goodman).

The Buford Clinton Affair” Mark Wahlberg plays a recently divorced, southern high school wrestling coach. Having also just been kicked out of the national guard for a crime he didn’t commit, he moves from Dallas to Southern New Mexico to balance his cost of living with his alimony payment to ex wife (Sandra Bullock). While in his new surroundings, he notices rampant crime from the Mexican cartels and goes to the police who are unable/too scared to help. With the help of his older drinking buddy/open mic enthusiast friend (Dennis Quaid) as well as the school principal/slam piece (Andie McDowell), they take on the cartels in guerilla style attack campaign. Quaid is killed and buried in the desert while Desperado plays. When the Cartel, run by (Alfred Molina), offers a truce and a monetary exchange. Wahlberg accepts truce, but then takes matters into his own hands.





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